Many years ago, I gave up smoking.
I was smoking 40 cigarettes a day.
It was expensive.
It was disgusting.
My mouth felt like the bottom of a budgie’s cage.
I had tried nicotine patches.
I had filled an empty jar with cigarette stubs and water, keeping it on my desk to put me off.
None of it worked.
And then one evening.
Something happened.
I was sitting on the sofa smoking and drinking a glass of wine.
At that time, I wanted to be more creative.
I noticed that I was inhaling a cigarette in the gap between my thoughts.
The gap in between your thoughts is where insights emerge.
Insights that can lead to creativity.
I was stopping myself from achieving what I want.
I was stopping myself from being creative.
Immediately. I stubbed out my cigarette.
It was the last cigarette I smoked.
I am not a fan of New Year Resolutions. Giving up something you enjoy in January in the middle of Winter is not the best time. Especially after 2020 and Covid-19!
So how did I find my happy place, so that the nicotine left my body?
I had kept a diary the previous month to understand the catalysts to reaching for a cigarette.
There were many.
- Having a break.
- Boredom.
- An accompaniment to a cup of coffee.
I needed to make sure that I still took the short breaks, but without smoking. This was the positive thing that smoking had given me, as well as feeling part of a group, with a sense of belonging, having a cigarette outside a pub or at a party.
What worked for me to find my happy place was a combination of 4 things.
Every time I thought about having a cigarette, I would do one of these.
- Play an uplifting music track – about the same length of time it took to smoke a cigarette. Michael Jackson ‘Heal the world’ and Oasis ‘Wonderwall’ and Massive Attack ‘Unfinished Symphony’ worked a treat.
- Take a short walk in nature
- Name a positive emotion, access a memory when I had that positive emotion, relive the positive memory, connecting with all my senses in the memory. The beach in Ko Pi Pi, Thailand worked a treat!
- Sitting in a chair and doing the pause exercise – see below.
The ‘pause’ exercise – a 5 minute tool to de-stress and be present
- Sit in a chair with your back straight, your hands resting on your thighs, and your legs straight out in front of you (not crossed) with the weight on your heels
- Close your eyes
- Notice the feeling of your body in the chair, your feet on the ground
- Put your attention on the clothes on your skin and the feeling of the air on your hands and face
- Notice the taste in your mouth and any smells
- If thoughts come into your head, let them go and drift away like clouds
- Now, focus your attention on external sounds around you
- Put all your attention on these sounds. Notice sounds close to you and further away
- Allow yourself to simply be present
- Keep on putting all of your attention on being in the present moment and connecting with your senses, especially sounds and touch
- You will notice that your breathing starts to slow and your mental chatter quietens
- Keep on putting your attention on your body sitting in the chair and feet on the ground
- Place 200% of your attention on the sounds around you
- When you are ready to complete the exercise and feel energised, bring your awareness back to being in the room and imagine roots growing from the soles of your feet into the earth so that you feel grounded
- When you’re ready, open your eyes
What tips would you share to find your happy place?